we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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