Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
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That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
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I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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