I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
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