TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I love having hate sex.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
