I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Are we still banned from the library?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
