Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
