is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
