its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
