carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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