Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
