Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
