You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
This girl is more easily done than said...
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
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