I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Man, jail baloney is awful.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
