Is it normal to miss your booty call?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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