I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize
