highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
