the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
