If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
