does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
