That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize