spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
