Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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