she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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