the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
