Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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