i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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