You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
