we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
