also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
