then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
