I cockslap morals
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think your dad took our porno
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
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