sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
