I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
