He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
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She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
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I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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