I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
