I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize