false alarm. still invincible.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize