What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You dont lie about slip and slides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize