A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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