Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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