you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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