If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
