Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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