Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
