Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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