Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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