so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
that is very illegal...i love you.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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