i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
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Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
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I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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