there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
