so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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