Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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