Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
