Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
