I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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