woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Drake has all the answers
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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