Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
