Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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