Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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