we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
