The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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